And then

That I haven’t written in as many weeks is something of an update in itself, but the short version is that I’m busier now than ever.  I’m only just able, after a typical day in my new role, to come up for air.  The blog-worthy version is what follows.

After a couple of days of talking over my boss’s offer, the hubs and I decided it just wouldn’t work for a number of reasons.  Working, that is.  Almost had ya there.  I confirmed my resignation, and we agreed on a 3 week transition period, which by that point was a third of the way gone.  And then what happened was something akin to the feeling of jumping out of a plane. One that’s flying 10,000 feet in the air, not one parked at the terminal, which would be a whole different feeling, just to clarify.   Suddenly, here we were, in free fall.  With a limited amount of time to enjoy the sensation of weightlessness, the illusion of flying, we fumbled half-panicked for the ripcord, clenched it in a sweaty fist, closed our eyes as if in a brief pleading prayer, and pulled.

My notice period went quickly and was bittersweet as I expected.  Leaving on a positive note felt good. My colleagues were supportive, which gave me a boost of confidence that I can do this.  With each day, my connection to my work life unraveled, as the apron strings pulled me closer to home.  The house was still chaos and we were scrambling around more than ever to juggle our lack of routine.  The laundry piled up, the house got messier than ever, and we were doing well to keep fed.  We were just ready to get to our new normal.   On my last day in the office, my directors took me to a really nice lunch out and I said my goodbyes to my employees and colleagues.

I worked the last week of my notice period from home, which made for somewhat of a “soft launch” into my new role as a homemaker.  My 3 year old moved to a part time preschool and the hubby moved into an office outside of the home.  On Sunday night, as we laid out clothes for the following day – hubby with “real” work clothes for his “real” office, I with my sweats – we joked that it was like the first day of school for all of us.  For the first time, we’d start our day with me cooking breakfast, me dressing both children, me making the school run, and so on.

Sometime during that last week, the transition completed. Before I even realized it, I was fully immersed in the schedule I’d been planning for weeks.  I was exhausted, but didn’t feel overwhelmed by the work as much as the planning of it.  What had been a typical day for me had changed dramatically.

Before I quit work, I spent most of my time sitting down – in a car, at a desk, etc. At home I go up and down my stairs at least 10-15 times a day, and rarely sit except on the floor to play with the kids.  I used to spend 6-8 hours a week in the car, now I may go a whole day without driving anywhere.  At work I was seamlessly connected to media via my computer and my phone.  I was up to the minute on Facebook, I blogged on my lunch hour.  Now, I barely check email and answer texts the next day.

There have been days where I feel overwhelmed or even like I’m not doing well.  I have already had a couple of ‘kitchen nightmares’, but I fry a mean egg now.  My hubby seems happy so far – a bacon and egg sandwich every other day is keeping him quiet for the most part. And what I love most is that even on the days where my 3 year old is a handful and has a tantrum or two, he tells his dad while he’s being tucked in at bedtime that he had a great day.

We said in the beginning we would give this new setup a year.  And with last week being my final week of corporate life, tomorrow marks the official start of my new role as a stay at home mom.




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