It started in my endocrinologist’s office. Well, it started years ago, when my first son was born. There’s plenty of time for the backstory to unfold, so let’s start more recent – the moment when a plan was born.
With tears trickling down my face in the pale, fluorescent 10 x 10 doctor’s office, I hoped for something to be wrong with me that could be fixed with a pill. “I’m miserable,” I said to my husband, who sat there beside me for moral support. Another advertising fire drill escalated on my iphone while I waited for the doctor. I was so over it.
But I knew, thyroid problems or no, what was really wrong with me. The cause of my anxiety, depression, fatigue, and plummeting milk supply was simple: “I hate this job. I hate it because I’m supposed to be doing something else. I’m a Mom, and 5 days a week (and way more time than I care to admit on nights and weekends) I’m doing my best to be anything but.” And my “best” is a joke, because I’m at my worst.
For the rest of the day, it’s all we talked about, not unlike many days before it that seemed to get closer and closer together in recent weeks. Going back to work from maternity leave, taking a promotion, and taking on one new project after another had begun to take its toll on me mentally and physically. And then my husband decided. For 6 years, the best part of our marriage, I’d been the breadwinner while he grew his real estate business from scratch. I brought in the steady paycheck and health benefits while his commission-based earnings grew in sparse patches like a new lawn. Finally, we were at a place where I could quit corporate America, and stay home to raise our two boys. Or close enough that we were ready to take the leap and endure the struggle.
He asked me for some time to get a few commissions in the bank, so we could start with a cushion of savings. That seems fair, and will give me some time to prepare for my new role. So in a little under 4 months, after a much needed family vacation and celebrating our 2nd son’s first birthday, I’ll give my notice at my corporate job to stay home full time.
On September 27th, 2012, the breadwinner will become the baker. This is the story of that journey…